From Power Struggles to Partnership: Inside an Imago Workshop
- Nichole Hart
- Apr 3
- 7 min read
What really happens in a Getting the Love You Want weekend—Plus, one practical activity you can try at home today.
Welcome back! We’ve made it to Part 5 (of 5) of this blog series exploring the Getting the Love You Want couples workshop—from different lenses, different voices, and different angles.
And in this post, I’m answering the question I hear most often:
“But what actually happens in a workshop?”
Whether you're considering signing up—or simply curious about what this kind of experience might offer—this post is for you. We’ll walk through the high-level flow of the weekend and zoom in on a few moments that tend to stay with people long after the workshop ends.
✨ Even if attending a workshop isn’t on your radar right now, the tools and insights here can offer meaningful ways to bring more connection, curiosity, and intention into your relationship. ✨
Quick Recap: The Blog Series So Far
Here’s what we’ve explored in this 5-part journey:
📌 Part 1 – Overview of Getting the Love You Want Workshops - A bird’s-eye view of what makes Imago different—and why it’s not your average couples retreat —plus an easy "listening exercise" to try at home.
📌 Part 2 – Scott’s Experience of the Workshop as a Non-Therapist – My partner shares what it was like to be the “non-clinical” one in the room, and what surprised him most—plus a playful reminder that couples need fun just as much as insight.
📌 Part 3 – Exploring Reactivity in Relationships – A look at why we get triggered and what might be happening beneath the surface—plus an exercise using animal imagery to understand your reactive and centered states.
📌 Part 4 – Debunking Couples Workshop Myths - What these weekends are and are not—plus a simple practice to begin reconnecting now.
📌 Part 5 – (You're here!) A behind-the-scenes look at what actually unfolds during a typical workshop weekend—and one activity you can try at home today.
(*links to each page are embedded above)
What Actually Happens in a Weekend Workshop?
For many, the idea of attending a relationship workshop brings up a mix of hope, curiosity, and nervousness. That’s completely normal.
Some couples come because they feel stuck. Others are doing well but want to go deeper.
Whatever the reason, Imago workshops offer a structured, compassionate space to understand your relationship in a new way. We approach the experience like a conversation, not a lecture. Yes, we share tools and will lead you through several structured exercises—but the real magic is in the space we co-create together, and that you co-create with your partner.
I’ll start here with a very high-level overview of the weekend, and then we’ll go deeper.
Every Getting the Love You Want workshop is a little different, but here’s the general rhythm:
Friday Evening
We gather, settle in, and begin creating the safety that will hold us all weekend long. You’ll introduce yourselves to the group using a positive prompt. We’ll cover some of the essence of Imago theory. After this, you’ll learn about the Intentional Dialogue through doing a gratitude exercise together with your partner. Then we’ll wrap up the night with a guided imagery journey, which we will carry through the entire weekend.
Saturday
We first explore how the past shapes the present. Through stories, reflection, and gentle guided exercises, you’ll begin to uncover why certain patterns show up in your relationships—and how they’re often connected to early experiences of love and safety. We’ll then explore and practice the full Intentional Dialogue. You’ll learn new tools, laugh, perhaps cry, and (most importantly) experience moments of deep connection.
Sunday
After some further integration of the concepts from Saturday, the energy turns toward possibility and integration. Couples build out shared visions, explore rituals for keeping connection alive, and practice tools they can carry forward. There’s a lot of room for lightness, laughter, and celebration.
A Deeper Look at Some Key Pieces
Understanding the Why: What is Going on With Us?
We offer a framework of why relationships get hard—and why that’s a natural part of the process.
We believe that in our intimate partnerships in particular, the past tends to live in the present. By that we mean that needs, defenses, and early experiences definitely shape how we connect now. In the workshop, we do a deeper dive into what we in Imago refer to as the Four Journeys that influence our relationships:
Cosmic – Our longing to feel whole and connected
Psychological – How childhood wounds so easily reemerge in adult love
Sociological – The family and cultural messages and roles we absorb
Evolutionary – Our brain’s hardwiring for safety and reactivity
Understanding this bigger context helps couples move from blame to understanding and compassion.
The Relationship Journey
Imago theory rests on the idea that relationships tend to follow some common phases. Many couples discover that their relationship indeed follows this familiar pattern—a path we call the Relationship Journey:
Romantic Love – Chemistry is high, differences are invisible
Power Struggle – Differences surface and conflict begins
Re-Commitment – A conscious choice to grow instead of give up
Doing the Work – Using tools to relate differently
Awakening – New understanding brings relief and energy
Conscious Love – A mature connection grounded in safety and care
This isn’t a straight line. It's a cycle we revisit—and deepen—as we grow. The workshop helps you identify where you are and what supports your next step.
Building New Skills
At the heart of the weekend is the Intentional Dialogue, a structured way of relating that includes:
Mirroring – “Let me see if I got you…”
Validation – “You make sense…”
Empathy – “I imagine you might feel…”
It’s not just a communication tool—it’s a shift in consciousness.
Personal Share: This part was (and sometimes still is) hard for me. I used to believe that standing my ground meant strength, and furthermore, slowing down to mirror felt like weakness. But what I’ve come to realize is that slowing down is its own kind of courage. When Scott and I use the Dialogue, something opens. There's more space, more clarity, more connection.
Experiencing Change Together
We also explore other exercises—like Caring Behaviors, Visioning, Sweet Moments, and the Parent/Child Dialogue—that create safety, nurture joy, and offer insight.
This is what makes the workshop so powerful: you don’t just learn about change—you experience it.
Couples begin to see and understand each other differently. And for many, this sense of being seen and understood is deeply healing.
Integration & Next Steps
Our goal is to help you walk away with the experience that:
Change is possible.
Not because you need to become different people—
But because you’re learning to relate in a new way.
You’ll leave with practical tools and take-home practices that will help you keep the energy and momentum of the workshop alive.
In closing (and before we get to the “Practical Activity” for this month), I like to say:
These workshops help couples who feel stuck get unstuck. And they help couples who are feeling good go even deeper.
If this has piqued your interest, you can find more information and register here. (link to workshop website page).
If you have questions I haven’t answered, please feel free to reach out. (link to contact page)
📅 Just a reminder that early bird pricing ends on April 15, 2025, and we are limiting this May workshop to 4 couples. Additional workshops will likely be offered in early August, mid-October, and possibly early December.
🏡 Try This at Home: The Surprise Month Swap
Each of my posts includes a relationship practice you can try on your own. This one’s all about surprise, novelty, and shared delight.
One of the ways Scott and I bring this workshop content into everyday life is through something we started doing this year: we take turns each month planning something new and novel to do together. We call them Surprise Months.
It doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive. One month, we had a Saturday “date dinner” at Wendy’s after buying a new board game! And while I’m not giving away the secret for this month (because it’s still a surprise to Scott!), I will say it involves creating something together. Whatever you decide, it’s not about perfection—it’s about showing up with creativity, fun, and care.
Why it works:
Surprise gets your brain’s attention and sends a signal: this moment matters.
Novelty builds flexibility and playfulness.
Positive shared experiences add connection and joy to your relationship energy bank.
Want to try it?
Pick a month. Take turns. Plan something your partner wouldn’t expect. It can be big or small—as long as it’s fresh. Have fun and see what shows up.
What’s Next?
This wraps up our 5-part series on the Getting the Love You Want workshop experience.
In future blog posts, I’m shifting into general topics related to relationships. Next month’s blog introduces a new tool: The Initiator : Inquirer Method—a powerful way to explore difficult topics without blame or shutdown.
If you’d like to get on my mailing list, you can sign up for a Free Mini-Imago E-Course at the bottom of this page. (linked) ....alternatively....
You can email me with your first and last name and ask to be added to my mailing list.
I send out a blog about once a month, each with a relationally relevant topic and a practical to-do activity.
And just to leave you with one final thought—something that speaks to the heart of this work:
“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.”— David Augsburger
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