Over the years, I’ve had the privilege of participating in four different Imago Couples Workshops, led by three remarkable facilitators. Each experience has left a unique imprint on me, and I want to share some key takeaways—not just about what stood out during these workshops, but also about what inspires me so deeply about this work.
Nearly a decade ago, I came to a realization that changed the trajectory of my work and relationships: I wanted to specialize in working with couples. My initial attempts at couples therapy had been daunting. I quickly realized that working with the dynamic interplay of a couple is entirely different from working with individuals. I needed a new approach—one that could truly support couples in navigating their unique challenges.
As I explored the leading couples therapy models—Imago, Gottman, PACT, EFT, RLT—I noticed they all shared foundational principles but presented them through different lenses. For me, Imago stood out. Its focus on connection, communication, and creating safety in relationships resonated deeply. It wasn’t just a framework for therapy—it was a way of being, both personally and professionally.
What drew me most to Imago was its emphasis on helping couples understand their relational dynamics, especially in conflict. Imago recognizes that conflict isn’t something to avoid or fear; instead, it’s a doorway to deeper understanding and growth. This idea—of turning conflict into connection—has profoundly shaped how I approach my work and my own relationships.
Another key aspect that sets Imago apart is its focus on living the principles it teaches. It’s not about mastering a set of tools in theory; it’s about truly integrating them into your life. Every Imago therapist I’ve trained with embodies this idea. They don’t just teach the work—they live it. This isn’t a program where you can simply check off a list of competencies. Instead, it requires you to turn inward, to explore your own patterns and challenges.
Creating a Safe and Transformative Space
This authenticity is what shapes the environment of Imago workshops. Presenters are encouraged to “live the work” and share their own struggles and triumphs. This creates a space where it’s safe to be real. I’ve been profoundly moved by how openly facilitators share their stories—their hopes, failures, and growth—and how they demonstrate the transformative power of Imago principles in their own lives.
For me, this is the heart of what makes Imago so special. It’s not just about techniques or theories—it’s about creating a shared experience of connection, courage, and transformation. And it’s this possibility for growth that continues to inspire me, both as a therapist and as a human being.
A Sneak Peek at What’s Next: Insights from Imago Couples Workshops
Over the next few months, I’ll be sharing a series of posts about my partner’s and my recent experience attending an Imago Couples Workshop (Getting the Love You Want). I’ll explore what stood out to us, the lessons we learned, and what you can expect if you decide to attend a workshop.
Next in the series, my partner Scott will share his perspective as someone who was new to couples therapy and workshops (and having some hesitance around attending). His take might surprise you—it’s refreshingly honest and incredibly relatable. After that, I’ll dive deeper into my own reflections and lessons from the workshops, tackle myths about couples workshops (including why a workshop might be more appealing than weekly therapy), explore connection as a key to thriving relationships, and give you a glimpse into what to expect if you attend one of our workshops.
Practical Exercise
One of the foundational principles of Imago is creating a safe space for communication. A great way to introduce this into your relationship is by practicing intentional listening—a simplified version of the Imago Dialogue.
Try This: The Listening Exercise
Set Aside 10 Minutes
Find a quiet time when you won’t be interrupted. Decide who will speak first and who will listen.
Speaker’s Role
Share something that’s on your mind—this could be about your day, something that’s been bothering you outside of your relationship, something positive you’ve noticed in your partner recently. Speak in short chunks and let the listener "mirror" each short chunk. Keep the overall share short and focused on the one topic.
Listener’s Role
Listener, don’t interrupt, comment, or problem-solve. Instead, simply reflect back what you hear. For example:
“What I hear you saying is…”
“If I got you, it sounds like…”
(No advice or fixing—just reflecting back what the speaker shared after each short chunk. And for bonus, summarize at the end: "So, in summary what I heard is....")
Switch Roles
Once the speaker feels heard and understood, switch roles and repeat the process.
End with Gratitude
Thank each other for listening and sharing. This step helps reinforce positive feelings and connection.
This simple exercise can help both partners feel heard and valued. Over time, it builds trust and lays the groundwork for deeper conversations.
Join Us On The Journey
Want to stay updated on upcoming workshop dates and receive practical tips to deepen your connection? Sign up for my monthly(ish) newsletter! You'll get a "freebie Imago Mini-Course", plus each month, you’ll get insights, tools, and inspiration to help you and your partner thrive..
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