Before diving into this relationship, therapy—or something like a workshop for couples—wasn’t really on my radar. I’ve spent most of my life outdoors, being active. Whether it’s skiing, mountain biking, dirt biking, or playing hockey, that’s where I feel at home. So, going to a couples workshop felt like stepping into completely new territory for me.
But I have to say, it surprised me in some great ways. Here are some of the things that really stood out to me about my first experience in an Imago Couples Workshop.
The Science Behind the “Love Rush”
One of the parts I really appreciated was exploring the science behind the early stages of a relationship—how everything feels perfect in the beginning because of the chemical cocktail running through our systems. It was like a lightbulb went off when they explained this. Those intense “in love” feelings aren’t just about your partner; they’re mostly driven by the rush of chemicals your body is producing. We naturally attach those feelings to our partner, assuming they’re the source.
When those feelings start to fade, we tend to think it’s our partner’s fault—that they’re somehow “taking away” the magic. The truth is, those changes are just biology doing its thing. Understanding this was a big shift for me.
So what happens when that chemical rush wears off? That’s when you start to notice differences between you and your partner. For me, the workshop helped reframe this phase. Instead of seeing it as a letdown, it’s more of a turning point. It’s a time to focus on communication—learning how to navigate those differences—and even uncover the “gold” in conflicts. That was a major takeaway for me: conflicts aren’t just something to get through. They’re actually opportunities to learn more about each other and build a stronger relationship.
Shared Experiences = Shared Growth
Another thing I found really helpful was being around other couples. Hearing their stories and realizing how much overlap there was between their experiences and ours made everything feel more normal. It was a relief to see that the challenges we face are just part of being in a relationship.
And watching other couples work through the Imago Dialogue was also really impactful. It’s one thing to hear about a tool or technique, but seeing it in action made it much clearer how it works and how it could help us.
The Power of Feeling Comfortable and Open
One of the most refreshing surprises for me during the workshop was how comfortable I felt. Coming from a corporate background, I’m used to environments where there’s often an unspoken pressure to stay somewhat guarded. When you’re in a room full of people—especially in professional settings—there’s usually an underlying sense of needing to project a certain image or hold back a bit.
This workshop was completely different. From the start, the environment felt open, relaxed, and judgment-free. It was surprising, but also incredibly freeing, to just be myself without any sense of needing to put up a front. That level of comfort made it easier to connect, not just with Nichole, but also with the other participants.
The Power of the Imago Dialogue
Speaking of the Dialogue, that was probably the biggest game-changer for me. Imago has this way of flipping how you communicate, and it was eye-opening. Most of us—myself included—don’t really listen in conversations. We’re too busy in our own heads, coming up with a response, forming a judgment, or preparing an argument.
The Dialogue changes all of that. Instead of focusing on yourself, you’re fully tuned in to your partner. You mirror back what they’ve said, validate their perspective, and show empathy for how they’re feeling. It sounds simple, but when you do it right, it’s incredible how much more heard and understood you both feel.
It’s not just about repeating words—it’s about genuinely connecting. The workshop helped me refine this process, so I wasn’t just following the steps but really understanding the deeper purpose behind them.
Beyond Just Us
One of the coolest things about learning the Imago Dialogue is that it doesn’t just help in your romantic relationship. For me, it’s already made a difference in other areas of my life, especially at work. Being able to truly listen and understand where someone’s coming from—whether it’s your partner, a coworker, a client, or a friend—is a skill that applies everywhere.
My Takeaway
Going into this, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Therapy wasn’t something I’d ever seen as a proactive part of building a relationship. Honestly, I used to think of it as more of a last resort—something you turn to when things are overwhelming or “bad.” But this workshop gave me tools that feel practical and real.
It’s not about being “perfect” or fixing every little thing. It’s about showing up, being intentional, and having tools that help you connect and understand each other better.
For anyone who’s not sure if this kind of thing is for them, I’d say just give it a shot. You might be surprised—like I was—at how much you take away from it.
Scott’s Practical “To-Do” Activity: Playful Connection Challenges
Sometimes, the best way to reconnect with your partner is through a little light-hearted fun right where you are. This week, try one of these simple and playful activities to spark laughter and bring you closer:
Indoor Treasure Hunt
Hide small, random objects (or treats!) around your house and give each other clues to find them. You can make it as silly or challenging as you want—like rhyming clues or drawing quick doodles as hints.
Trashcan Basketball Tournament
Grab some paper balls and a trashcan. Take turns shooting from increasingly ridiculous spots around the house. Whoever scores the most wins, but bonus points for the most creative shots!
Mini Snowmen Contest (if there’s snow!)
Head outside and challenge each other to build the tiniest (or funniest) snowman possible. Bonus points for props from around the house. No snow? Try a “build something small” challenge with any materials you have—like LEGOs, paper, or marshmallows and toothpicks.
Blindfolded Adventure
Take turns leading each other blindfolded through your house or yard. The goal? Build trust and communication while navigating obstacles (and probably laughing along the way). [It also draws some funny looks from those you pass on the trail if you are outside!]
Indoor Picnic or Fort Night
Create an indoor picnic or build a fort out of blankets and cushions. Share snacks, tell silly stories, or just hang out like kids for an hour.
Create a Snack Plate—Shared Voice / Construction
Pick some fruits like an orange, an apple, some strawberries, grapes, blueberries. Peel oranges, cut up the apple, and split everything evenly between you: Turn around with your fruit and an empty plate for each of you with your backs facing. Then one (pick which one) of you will arrange the fruits on your plate into a “scene” without the other being able to see. Try to coach your partner into creating a replica…see how close you get.
Staring Contest with a Twist
Have a good old-fashioned staring contest, but the goal is to make the other person laugh first. Bonus points for goofy faces or sound effects!
Color Outside the Lines
Grab some crayons or markers and each draw something that represents a happy memory together. Share your masterpieces when you’re done—no artistic talent required!
The Point?
None of these activities are about skill or perfection. They’re just ways to lighten the mood, have a laugh, and create a sense of teamwork. Plus, they’re proof that connection doesn’t have to mean a big effort—it can be as simple as playing around at home.
Gratitude and Growth (from Nichole)
As you may have guessed, Scott places a lot of emphasis on connecting through positive interactions, and there is tremendous value in this! I’m learning so much from him, and together we’re discovering more of a balance between digging into and understanding what’s not going well with us and celebrating what is.
I’m grateful for Scott taking the time to share his thoughts and experience with the workshop and how it impacted him. I’m also grateful for the fun he brings into our lives. (P.S. I’m ahead in the trashcan basketball tournament, but he’s leading in the staring contest—😉!)
Also, just a reminder that this is Part 2 of a 5-part series on our experiences with the Imago Couples Workshop we attended. If you missed Part 1, you can read it here. Coming up next, I’ll share lessons from the workshop that changed me—both as a therapist and a partner—and how they’ve shaped my approach to relationships.
Later in the series, we’ll tackle common myths about couples workshops (and the truth behind them), as well as what you can expect from attending an Imago workshop yourself.
Curious about experiencing an Imago workshop firsthand? Our first in-person workshop will take place May 2-4, 2025, in Silverthorne, CO. Learn more and reserve your spot here.
Can’t Make These Dates? No Problem!
There are a few options for making this happen if May is not a good time for you. One is that we’ll be offering two more workshops later this year, with dates currently being finalized—stay tuned! In the meantime, you can also explore other options through Imago Relationships North America. The have listed a variety of in-person workshops, online workshops, and even destination retreats (one in Spain!).
Actually, I just checked, and there are currently 49 in-person workshops happening this year—how exciting is that? Whether it’s with us or another facilitator, do yourself a favor and find one to attend. You won’t regret it!
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