(With or Without a Workshop!)
We’ve finally reached Part 4 of this 5-part series! While this post is largely focused on our upcoming Getting the Love You Want workshop for couples, I do have a greater purpose I’m weaving in—and that is to ask you to reflect on something even bigger: How are you investing in your relationship?
Of course, we’d love for you to consider our workshop as one way to make this investment, but what’s even more important is taking time to think about how you are—or can—consistently nurture this essential part of your life.
Here’s something to consider: The couples workshop myths I’ll be exploring here don’t just show up when deciding whether to attend a workshop. They can be subtle, persistent beliefs that keep us from being intentional in how we invest in our relationship overall. So as you read, I invite you to not only think about the workshop but also ask yourself: "Could any of these myths be quietly holding me back from other meaningful ways of deepening my connection?"
Now, let’s take a closer look at the workshop itself. I’m really excited to share this post because it gets at the heart of some common misconceptions! Many couples hesitate to sign up for a workshop like this because they’re unsure of what to expect. Some worry it will be too intense, too vulnerable, or only for couples in crisis. Others assume they won’t gain much if their relationship is already strong.
In this post, I’ll debunk some of the most common myths about Getting the Love You Want workshops so you can feel confident about stepping into this experience. And, as always, I’ll include an experiential activity at the end—one you and your partner can try together to reflect on how you invest in your relationship.
✨ Plus, a special addition to this post! Scott and I are sharing a short video about a simple, meaningful way we regularly invest in our relationship. (Hint: It has to do with the power of appreciation!)
Now, let's clear up some of those myths!
Myth #1: “I don’t want to do therapy in front of other couples.”
🔹 This is NOT group therapy. There’s no pressure to share personal challenges in front of others.
🔹 The atmosphere is supportive, engaging, and often fun. While meaningful moments happen, the experience is structured to feel safe and approachable.
🔹 Most of the work happens privately between you and your partner. You’ll engage in guided exercises that deepen your connection—but those conversations stay between the two of you.
🔹 Demonstrations are optional. We do ask for volunteers to participate in guided demonstrations, but these are always well-supported and never too vulnerable of an ask.
The Key Takeaway: You get the benefits of learning in a group while keeping your personal experience private.
Myth #2: “We have to be in crisis to attend.”
🔹 The reality? Most couples who attend are not in crisis—they simply want to grow their connection, communicate better, or rekindle their sense of playfulness and appreciation.
🔹 This workshop is designed for couples at all stages—whether you’re newly committed, have been together for decades, or just want to proactively strengthen your relationship.
🔹 You don’t need to wait until things feel broken. Investing in your relationship before problems arise is one of the best things you can do for long-term happiness.
The Key Takeaway: This workshop is about growth, not just fixing problems.
Myth #3: “If we need a workshop, maybe our relationship is doomed.”
🔹 Attending a workshop is not a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of commitment. The healthiest relationships are built on continued learning and intentionality.
🔹 Would you judge someone for taking a class to improve their leadership skills? No! Relationships deserve the same investment.
🔹 This workshop isn’t about fixing something broken—it’s about learning new ways to connect, communicate, and enjoy each other.
The Key Takeaway: Attending a workshop doesn’t mean your relationship is in trouble—it means you’re committed to making it even better.
Myth #4: “One weekend won’t change anything long-term.”
🔹 You’ll leave with practical tools you can use for years. These aren’t just concepts—they’re structured exercises that you can continue practicing at home.
🔹 Many couples experience an immediate shift. By the end of the weekend, most report feeling more connected, understood, and excited about their relationship. (💡 Experienced facilitators often say that the impact of one workshop can be as powerful as 7 months of therapy. That said, we want to emphasize that this isn’t a “therapy workshop”—it’s not about condensing therapy into a weekend. However, for couples who are in therapy (or considering it), the workshop can be a powerful complement to that work. Couples consistently share that they leave with a deeper connection, new insights, and practical tools that continue to shape their relationship long after the weekend ends. This observation comes from over 20 years of witnessing profound shifts in just one workshop.)
🔹 This isn’t a quick fix—it’s a foundation. The workshop gives you a roadmap for deeper connection that you can keep building on long after the weekend ends.
The Key Takeaway: This experience creates lasting impact, not just a temporary boost.
Myth #5: “We already communicate well—we don’t need this.”
🔹 Even strong communicators discover new insights. This workshop isn’t just about fixing problems—it’s about deepening understanding.
🔹 You’ll learn ways to support each other, express appreciation, and stay connected even during busy seasons of life.
🔹 Many couples are surprised by what they learn. The experience helps strengthen bonds in ways they didn’t expect.
The Key Takeaway: Even strong relationships can benefit from deeper connection, new insights, and fresh ways to engage with each other.
Myth #6: “It’s just another relationship workshop—it won’t be different from books or therapy.”
🔹 Unlike books, this workshop is immersive. You’re not just learning—you’re practicing in real time.
🔹 Therapy is often process oriented—this workshop is experiential, focused, and results-driven. It provides hands-on experience to create real shifts.
🔹 The Imago approach is research-based and transformative. Couples walk away with tangible skills they can immediately apply.
The Key Takeaway: This isn’t just another relationship event—it’s an interactive experience that creates real transformation.
Myth #7: “It’s too expensive.”
🔹 We freely spend money on hobbies, entertainment, and self-care—what about our relationship?
🔹 This is an investment in the foundation of your life together. A thriving relationship makes everything else—your home life, your experiences, your future—better.
🔹 Instead of asking, “Can we afford this?” try asking, “What’s the cost of NOT making this investment?”
The Key Takeaway: Prioritizing the health of your relationship is just as valuable as any other investment.
Myth #8: “One of us wants to go, and the other isn’t sure. Will it still help?”
🔹 This is the case for most couples—one partner is usually more eager.
🔹 Hesitant partners often leave feeling pleasantly surprised. Many say, “I wasn’t sure about this, but I’m really glad we came.”
🔹 Even one small shift in communication can make a big impact.
🔹 No one is forced to overshare. The structure allows for privacy and engagement at your comfort level.
The Key Takeaway: More often than not, the hesitant partner ends up appreciating the experience.
Conclusion: How Might These Myths Be Showing Up for You?
If any of these myths have been holding you back from attending a workshop, we hope this post has helped clear them up! But even beyond the workshop, these same myths may be quietly influencing how you think about investing in your relationship.
For example:
🔹 "One weekend won’t change anything long-term." Maybe this belief has kept you from setting aside focused time to work on your relationship at all—whether that’s a workshop, a book, or even just a weekly check-in. Does the fear of "not being enough" stop you from taking even small steps?
🔹 "We already communicate well—we don’t need this." Could this mindset be keeping you from discovering new ways to connect? Even in strong relationships, there’s always room to deepen understanding, appreciation, and emotional safety.
As you reflect on these myths, consider how they may have shaped your approach to relationship growth without you even realizing it.
Want to Read More?
This is Part 4 of a 5-part series exploring Getting the Love You Want workshops. If you’d like to catch up on previous posts, you can find them here:
📌 Part 1 – Overview of Getting the Love You Want Workshops
📌 Part 2 – Scott’s Experience of the Workshop as a Non-Therapist
📌 Part 3 – Exploring Reactivity in Relationships (Related to Workshop Material)
💡 Our first workshop will be held May 16-18, 2025 (note the date change if you saw a different date previously!). Join us in Silverthorne, CO for a transformative weekend designed to deepen connection and understanding in your relationship.
✨ More details & registration: Getting the Love You Want (link to website workshop / registration page)
Try This Together: Relationship Investment Reflection
💡 Regardless of whether or not you’re considering attending a workshop, take a moment to reflect on how you currently invest in your relationship.
At the end of each blog post, I include an activity that you and your partner can do or reflect on together—always with the intention of creating a small, meaningful experience that brings you closer.
🔹 Grab a piece of paper (or your phone) and each make two lists:
Things we regularly spend money on (entertainment, hobbies, home upgrades, self-care, travel, etc.).
Things we regularly invest time in (work, exercise, social time, screen time, etc.).
💬 Now, reflect together:
Where does investing in our relationship currently fit in?
How do we feel about that balance?
What’s one small way we can prioritize intentional time together this month?
✨ For Scott and me, this exercise was eye-opening in two ways—both in how much we spend and where we invest our time. Our "what we regularly spend money on" list added up easily into the thousands over time—gym memberships, movies, shows, plays, eating out, date nights with friends, a new chess board (!), ski gear, hiking shoes, books, clothes… it really does add up.
✨ Then, we looked at our time. Work, workouts, social media, TV shows, time with friends, hobbies, scrolling aimlessly on our phones, reading—it all takes up space in our lives. This exercise helped us pause and consider where our relationship fits into both our spending and our daily priorities.
✨ Bonus Reflection: As you do this exercise, consider whether any of the myths from this post have subtly shaped how you approach investing in your relationship. Are there any areas where you’ve held back—assuming that things would either naturally improve or that there wasn’t much more to learn?
No matter what your next step looks like, simply taking time to reflect on where your energy goes can be a powerful way to reconnect. ❤️
Want to See a Simple Way to Invest in Your Relationship?
One of the easiest and most meaningful ways Scott and I regularly invest in our relationship is by sharing appreciations with each other. It’s a small habit, but over time, it strengthens our connection and helps us feel seen and valued.
✨ We put together a short video walking through the Appreciation Dialogue—one of the simplest yet most powerful tools from the Imago framework.
💡 In this video, you'll see us practicing key elements of the dialogue:
Asking if it’s a good time to share.
Mirroring (reflecting back what we hear).
Checking in with “Am I with you?” and “Is there more?”
Summarizing what we heard before closing.
👉 Want a step-by-step guide? Imago Appreciation Dialogue (google doc)
❤️ If you’re looking for an easy way to bring more warmth and intentionality into your relationship, this is a great place to start!
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